It has been a very long year for me. It's hard for me to even believe that it has all happened in just a year's time. This time last year I was working for a company that had no conscious and would fire you even when you spent every second of your work day doing the work and working hard. In a job that had been sold to me as "social work" but was clearly anything but. I was driving a little over 150 miles a day, between time zones with horrible hours and rarely saw my little girl: stressed about sales goals, numbers, and if I was going to walk into work and lose my job the next day. It was my own personal hell...except..the people.
I had the best co-workers. These people were bonded to me in a way that few people can really understand: once you have been through the fire together: that bond is ever-lasting. We went through the worry and stress and heartache as one. At this job, most people did not decorate their cubicles because it was "just more stuff" you had to take with you when you walked out the door. Sparse cubicles and high stress. Yeah, that's great for your health.
During this past year, while at work, my arm went numb. I went downstairs and took my blood pressure. Despite being on blood pressure medication my blood pressure spiked to somewhere around 200/110. The nurse who took it was dumbfounded. Yes, I'd taken my medication for it this morning. Yes, that is normal for me off meds. Yes, I am sure that I took my pill, Ma'am.
..and then I called the doctor. He advised me to take another blood pressure pill: to double my dose. All would be well.
Hours later I am driving late at night down that stretch of I-65...past Roselawn..Demotte...the beautiful fields of Jasper county...the wind farm in White..and finally into Lafayette. I drove directly to Pay Less (because I had no monitor at home myself). My arm still felt funny..and sure enough..my blood pressure was still sky high after doublilng my dose. I drove straight to the ER.
The doctor on duty looks at me and asks me if I am under a great deal of stress. Of course, I respond. Who wasn't stressed out in that caged office I worked in non-stop? He gives me something via the iv and leaves the room. They check my blood pressure later and it is normal. I wonder what on earth caused my blood pressure to go down so quickly when a double dose had done nothing. "Stress." He tells me. I question him. He had given me an anxiety pill. Talk about feeling like a crazy person. Anxiety? Anxiety could increase my blood pressure to such a dangerously high level despite blood pressure medication?
I took those pills religiously until the day I quit that job. It was the only way to keep my blood pressure normal. Now, those pills are pretty much just a bad memory. I've never had my arm feel that way again..and I've never expressed stress like that since leaving that place.
This year I spent months unemployed feeling like I was never going to get out of this mess I had created by leaving the pit of hell...and then a small miracle when I was offered a job when nobody else wanted me...
..and now...I have made some fabulous friends in my training class in Indianapolis. Granted, most of them are up in northwest Indiana with the rest of my great friends from my previous job...but they are great friends to have (even if it means I won't see them very often or have to drive to find them). I have connected with some old friends in Lafayette and life..is certainly looking up :)
...and now..my goal is "me". Or rather, my vessel. I spent so much time and energy getting my degree and pursuing education to put me and my child in a better place. I graduated, got a good job..and now that the dust is clearing..I realize my "vessel" has been abused. All those years of tirelessly seeking my education while working exhausting low paying jobs and then working so far from home, left me without taking much care of my own body. I began my weight loss regimen right around Thanksgiving.
It is paying off...slowly..but it's paying off. Slowly is always the way to go with good "stick to it" weight loss, anyway. It's been 6 weeks and I've lost only 9 pounds. A few weeks, I missed my goals..but in those six weeks, I have always seen something go down on that scale. I have yet to gain weight or even plateau. The inches are what amaze me, though. I have lost 32.5 inches in those six weeks, so I must be doing something right! The most exciting part is that 7 inches of that is around the biggest part of my tummy. SEVEN INCHES. I will honestly tell you that when I measured myself initially and saw that my belly was a good 50 inches around the biggest section, that I nearly cried. FIFTY INCHES? That's insane. It's horrible. But it was reality and it was what it was....and now, I'm never going back. I measured a solid 43 inches this morning and I've got nowhere but down to go! Once I see that tape measure in the 30's range, I might even feel human again :) I am so thankful and feel so blessed for the changes that have occurred in my life this year. I have gotten out of a health-damaging job to one that I enjoy...I have made some great friends...I have started focusing on me and my health and I've seen major improvements :) It's so exciting and I can't wait to see where I am on December 31, 2012!
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